I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
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found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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