His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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