He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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