Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
