yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
