Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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