No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
