I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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