Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
