I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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