More tranny stories later!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
