i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Pooping to opera.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
