Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
