He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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