everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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