it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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