What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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