break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
