Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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