guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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