Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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