well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
