I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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