last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
