I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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