Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
