I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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