just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
