I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
