Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
