dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
