I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize