Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
