people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
