Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
