What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
