Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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