I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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