So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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