physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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