Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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