I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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