The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
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The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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