I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
