i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
