i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
