just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
