Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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