Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
