I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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