covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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