there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
