now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
