uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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