Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
