Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize