you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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