So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
