Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
